After one too many celebratory beers last Sunday at Cassidy and Anna’s football party, you loudly exclaimed, “Next weekend, we’re doing this at our place and it’s going to be the greatest football party of all time!” The problem is that you’ve never been great at throwing parties and as the next game rolls around, you’re starting to feel a wave of anxiety rush over you as the pressure builds to live up to your promise.
You suddenly remember that there is no “i” in “team.” To throw the greatest football party of all time, you need to assemble an All-Star cast of players to carry out key roles. Fill out your fantasy football viewing team by inviting these must-have picks. They do the heavy lifting AND feel good for the honor of being drafted on your team.
The BBQ Boss / Quarterback
Any great party needs someone truly talented on the BBQ grill front. A Picasso with the BBQ brush with sauce as his/her paint and a rack of ribs as his/her canvas. Someone that knows that cooking chicken on a charcoal grill should be done at a medium-low temperature and the perfect internal temperature is 165 degrees for dark meat.
How to identify: Think about which of your guests would say, “Not today, buddy,” to someone trying to rob them. Someone with nerves of steel and on a first name basis with his/her butcher.
The Beer Bro / Running back
Beer is the lifeblood of any football viewing party. This position needs someone who scoffs at last call, someone who buys unexpected rounds of shots after you’ve told them no, someone who will buy so much domestic beer that you’ll have leftovers for the next two weeks.
How to identify: Find a friend who has given him/herself an alter-ego by prefixing “Party” to his/her name, such as, “Dan is staying home tonight, but Party Dan is coming out and is gonna go wild!” That person.
Chip & Dip-ster / Wide Receiver
Snacks are what separate the good parties from the great ones. It’s fashionable to have an assortment of healthy options deep down, everyone just wants some Cool Ranch Dip and the latest Dorito flavor. This position needs someone with a creative mind that also craves the approval of others. That way, when s/he is deciding what snacks to buy, s/he will feel the panic of letting someone down and simply resort to buying them ALL.
How to identify: An intern, younger sibling or a friend of a friend who just moved into town all make for great candidates.
Designated Drivers / Defensive Team
At some point, Party Dan is going to have to go home. Make sure the world’s greatest football party stays that way by checking ahead of time to see who is driving. Then see if there’s anything special you can get that responsible friend or surprise him/her with something fancy like a Virgil’s Micro Brewed Root Beer or a Faygo’s Original Rock & Rye Cream Soda.
How to identify: Use the secret designated driver code, “Are you driving tonight?”
Identify and recruit these key players for your team and you’ll be well on your way to hosting the greatest football party ever known to man. Now grab your clipboard and start prepping your pep talk like a real team manager, you’ve got a game to win!